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japnzprep0913
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Name: TiMmY
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 9/13/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: AnYtHiNg To KeEp Me UnBoReD FoR 5 MiNs... iono what to say.. hobbies?? Hum.. i never know what to say.. so i guess.. working at cold stone... kickin it with my buddies... and school.... *sigh*... yeah... imma kick this persons ass (the one who invented the word "hobbies") And chattin on AIm...
Expertise: HuH?
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  l lilsleepboi l
Member Since:
9/15/2003
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| i dont know who to trust no surprise.... everyone feels so far away
from me.. heavy thoughts sift through dusk n lies..... trying not to
break but im so tried of this deceit..... everytime i try to make
myself get back up on my feet, all i ever think about is this.... now
trying to put my trust in you just takes so much.... so just take
everything from the inside and throw it all away... cause i swear for
the last time i wont trust myself with you.... cause i dont know how i
got this way... and i know i'll never be alright.....but i know i wont
waste myself on
you..cause on the inside i realize that im the one
confused..... yeah im a lil insecure a lil unconfident...
cause you dont understand why i do what i do..... i just wanna be
pushed aside so just
let me go... i rather be all alone... anywhere on my own.... so im
going just face all this pain here all alone.... sometimes i remember
the darkness of my past.... sometimes i think of letting go and never
looking back... and never moving forward so there will never be a
past..... so just go head and turn your back on my like you always
do.... cause i just want to get away.... so save all your bullshit for
another day.... when i think... i cant believe what you did to me...
down on my knees and i need to break free.... i dont know why i cant
feel inside... tryin to hide.... but it cant make it alright..... my
vision is burly and im lost in regret... so sick n tired of feelin
missused.... taking me down with all your mental abuse.. i just gotta
get you out of my head... cause im the only one who can resuce me from
me....so i leave the house and im ready to leave....n i feel so
alive... i feel the wind on my skin... and i start my new life......
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| im never shy but this is different..... i cant explain the way im
feelin... im losing control of my heart.... tell me what can i do to
make you happy.... nothin i ever say seems to come out right.... but i
cant read you.. i wish i knew what was going through your mind.... i
try to touch you.... but your hearts defending, and i get left
behind.... i cant reach you.... but who do you tell when you love
someone... hoping that someone's in love with you... i cant believe
that i feel this way.... there is so much i wanna say.... i wanna touch
you.. hold you... i've hesitated so many times.. n i wont let you slip
away.... i know your for me... n me for you... but i dont know what to
say.....
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| "I have the tendency of gettin very physical, so watch your step cause if i do you'll know you'll need a miricle....you drain my dry and make me wonder why im even here... this double vision i was seeing is finally clear... you build me then knock down... you chew me up n spit me out... you enjoy the taste i leave in your mouth... as i look at you neither of us know what to do.... there may not be another way to your heart of i guess i better find a new way in... i shiver when i hear you name.. that about you but its not the same....im full of regret for all the things that i've done and said... n i dont know if it will ever be okay to show my face around here... sometimes i wonder if i should dissapear.... would you ever turn your head n look to see if im gone? There is nothin left to say to you... that you wanna hear.. that you wanna know... i think i should go... the things i've done are way to shameful.... ive done you so worng, treated you so bad... i dont know how it got like this.... this isnt a goodbye.. its just time for me to rest my head... this citys made us crazy.. and we gotta get out.... in the darkness its you i see... come n rest with me... and never leave... i know i dont know you but i want you so bad.... everyone has a secret.. but not everyone can keep it.... do you ever see me floating above your head as you lay in bed.... thinking about everything that you didnt do.... casue sayin i love you has nothin with meaning it..... n i dont trust you cause everytime your hear your intentions are unclear.... i spend every hour waiting for a phone call that i know will never come.... n i used to think that you were the one.... n im sick of thinking at all.... so how does it feel to know you never have to be alone.... there must be someplace here that only you and i could go.... so i can show you how.... how i everyday you should dream away... i'll never you behind or treat you unkind... i know you understand and with a tear in my eye..... i can show you how i feel...."
- timmy 02-28 | | |
| "I just cant get out of bed today, or get you off my mind.... i wonder
why i got it all but yet feel so deprived.... tell me what is it that i
feel like im missing.... n why cant i let go of it..... do i just look
for temporary highs to statisfy me? Yeah some thoughts blow my
mind into a million pieces.... n i push you aside sometimes.... n you
still my back.... this is were i get weak.... but you showed me love so
im just gonna bounce back n shake everything off..... n yet questions
linger in my mind... like will someone always be there for me?
When i need someone, will it be you who i call in the middle of the
night? Will you do your best to protect me? When there are
tears in my eyes, can you be the one thats by my side? Cause i
promise i can do that if you do it for me.... but untill then its just
another day all alone.....as you pass me by, will you critize me as i
sit n cry.... i fought so hard and thought that all my battles had
gone... only to find the war had just begun.... will my weakness for an
hour make me suffer for a life time.... is there anyway to make me
whole again......someone please love me... another game, another broken
heart.... why do i do this to myself? I could look and try to
find someone that wont leave my lonely.... but then i found i didnt
need to search... cause you are the one.... you carried me, you found
my heart n have won it..... your taking me over and i like that..... i
tried other love but couldnt feel it.... im so glad you found me... i
need you so close to me, your the only one that make me complete.... i
know it took so long to see... but your my security.... yet there's
hesitation... why do you spend all your time watchin life pass your
by.... hanging on to your pride.... all that you can anticipate..
hoping all your mistakes will somehow fade away... its either hit or
miss.. you know the answer..... so come on... give your heart away....
i know you hurt inside... i know the reason why..... dont wait a
moment...come on n give your heart away.....i wounder what i've got to
be for you to wanna use me.... i dont always got the right words to
say.... but you tell me simple things that i'd love the chance to
bring...... for you... it doesnt matter where im from, where i've been,
where i live, what i have.... i could be the one.... someone your
looking for... i dont have much to give... whatever you me to do.... i
will hold on.... what you say can be done.... its so amazing to see,
that you choose people like me.... who get off track, fall , crashing,
down to the ground..... but that is where you pick me up... n show your
strength is enough... you can use a broken heart to heal a broken
life..... cause there are the days will i tell friends i'll call them
back.... n its important... but them i totally forget to call
them... then i think... you can be who you choose to be.... but
whether you do or dont, depends on your priorities... and i know its
not easy.... but im looking for the peace to find some sleep.... cause
somedays im not proud of the way i lived... but then maybe i wont look
back.... on the days that i could of said something.... in those times
someone needed me i was busy.... was it worth it? No.... in a way
i could have done something.... but i was selfish.... maybe if i change
my heart.... tomorrow will be okay... n i wont look back......i've been
thinkin how to steph to you..... but yet keep my cool.... i wanna make
sure i dont break the rules..... but now it seems that everybody
knows... but it seems it doesnt show.... that love is the only way to
go... all i want is for love to live in me...."
-timmy 02-28
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